The Dog I Am

I liked to lie upon her belly
And wondered what was within that bag.
Then he was born, so soft, so tiny,
A little life I could not snag.

She said, “He’s part of our pack,
You’ll guard him, love him, never stray.”
We played together, ran the track,
And laughed, and sprinted our way.

One day, while walking, he went still.
Helpless, I barked with all my might.
Sometimes I hate the dog I am,
I howled and barked that dreadful night.

They took him to the hospital room,
Two weeks went by. He returned so weak.
I stayed beside him, filled with gloom,
I never left him, day by day, and week by week.

I knew the demon would come to claim,
But first he’d have to pass through me.
I braced myself for fight and pain,
And waited tense for what would be.

On his last day he whispered low,
“I’m not afraid.” His courage showed.
He stroked my head, so soft, so slow,
Then drifted gently down life’s road.

The next day, I lay by the open door,
Watching him carried out of sight.
I clutched his hat, his smell I wore,
His shallow breath still in my mind.

I felt the brush of his small hand,
The quiet stir of fingers near,
A whispered word I thought I heard
And all at once he seemed still here.

The room lay still, like held-in breath.
A dog stares toward the open door,
The afternoon, so calm as death.
Nothing moves —
And because of that,
Everything is gone.

02.12.2025

The Word-Fish Stream

Far, far away, where little word-hills rise,
In lands of vowels and consonants, under the skies,
The fish-texts drift. No lips can make them speak.
They bloom from water, clear, cold and meek.

They weave through gills. They circle, swoop, and sway,
With tiny bubbles dancing on their way.
At times they shine with soft, emerald-green light,
With smoky sparks that glimmer through the night.

They catch the shades their misty kin once knew
And flash them back in trembling silver-blue.
But no one hears the tales they softly tell,
Nor what they whisper in their secret vale.

01.12.2025

Speaking a different audio reality

I’ve learned Past Simple
for many long years,
but somehow it sleeps
and never appears.
A Brit begins to speak,
their words fly,
turning to drifting sounds
that pass me by.

“Didja go t’th’ shop?” — they say.
I freeze.
“Sorry… I don’t even understand”.

“Wotcha up t’nigh’?
S’Fri, innit — fancy ‘it’n pub?”
I blink, confused, like:
“Could you repeat that, please?”

“If ya din’ know,
I been graftin’ all wk...
Graftin’, bruv!”
And I stand there thinking:
Sorry, guy…
but what do you mean?

I smile, nod wisely —
classic survival mode.
Pretending I caught
at least one word.
Many years of grammar
gone in a single line:
the hardest English
is spoken…
just fine.

28.11.2025

Грачи

Пустеет воздух. Птицы улетели.
И постепенно к нам идут метели.
Ворчливый хоровод грачей лишь иногда
кружит на сером небе, как братва,
И ждет тот день, когда покинет нас.
Ну, а пока их общий черный глаз
всё пристальнее смотрит на помойку
и ждет, что им господь подкинет слойку.
Не первой свежести, не лучшей красоты,
Но все-таки её готовы съесть они.

23.11.2025

Adulthood Sect

When I was five, I was wise 
as if already grown.
Time whispered: “Grow up,”
and I did so.
My soul kept shrinking,
like a shirt that never fit,
and now it hangs
as nothing but memory.

Adulthood is a quiet order.
You never notice entering.
No one gives you its doctrine;
you simply wake one morning
and everyone speaks around you
that language,
expects you to know the rites,
to carry a weight
you never chose.

I waited, God, I waited
for the growns to be wise,
bright, something like Dante,
with endings that teach.
I thought growing meant clarity,
a mind swept clean.
But every order has its trick,
Especially Adulthood scene.

At five, I should have slept, 
small, safe, folded in a blanket.
But time leaned close
and offered one command,
soft as breath,
final as a verdict:
“Grow up.”


23.11.2025